Article written by Jimmy Fields

From the beginning, God’s plan for His creation has been one man and one woman for life (Genesis 2:24).  Just for a minute, I would like for us to look at two aspects of dating—the world’s view and the Christian’s view.

Dating, as defined by Google:
“The period where two people spend time together socially with the intention of getting to know each other better and potentially forming a more serious, committed relationship.  Dating can be casual or more serious, and it may or may not involve exclusivity.”  

Dating, as defined by Wikipedia:
“A stage in a romantic relationship where people spend time together to assess each other’s suitability as a future partner.  It can involve frequent, intimate associations, and is often characterized by the expectation of affection or sexual involvement.  However, the relationship doesn’t have to be sexual.”

As God’s people, we should be able to see the fallacy of each of these worldly definitions of dating.  The first should be that there is no mention of this relationship being between a man and a woman.  The second is that there is no mention of this period of time coming to a close with marriage, as I am sure we all know of situations where dating continues for years.

While the word dating is not used in the Bible, His Word is very clear on what His expectation for a man and a woman is—marriage!  If you have found yourself dating, is marriage the goal or purpose of it?  The Christian does not date for fun; we have friends for that.  Nor do Christians date simply because they are lonely.  Christ should fill that void as He offers unshakeable love that is greater than any earthly relationship (John 15:1-9).

If I am going to date, the relationship I should find myself in is one that is going to determine who I am going to spend the rest of my life with, as Jesus states in Matthew 19:4-6.

Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV)
⁴ He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

That, my friends, is the true purpose of dating—finding a person with whom I will spend the rest of my days.

The child of God does not date for years on end.  It should not take years to determine if the person I am dating is the right one.  Dating for that long of a period can lead to the lust of the flesh that will be detrimental to the child of God (Romans 13:14; 1 Corinthians 6:14; 2 Timothy 2:22).   James warns us about this in James 1:14-15.

James 1:14-15 (ESV)
¹⁴ But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. ¹⁵ Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

When children of God date the same person for years, they run the risk of falling into temptation that can forever damage not only future relationships but, most importantly, their souls.

My friend, the longer I date someone, the harder it becomes to emotionally leave that relationship, especially if it involves fornication. Let us not confuse, as people in the world around us do, the difference between love and lust. The moment I realize that this is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with should be the moment I end the relationship.

As we end, I pray that we see the differences between the Christian’s view of dating versus the world’s view.