I recently read that the success rate in marriage today is about 25%.  That means that 75% of marriages either end in divorce or are less than what God wants them to be.  There are several different tragic storylines associated with this truth, but none more significant than the loss of souls.

How are souls lost in bad marriages?  First, in any bad marriage, someone is sinning.  At least one of the spouses, and sometimes neither of them, is measuring up to what God demands of them.   The presence of sin in bad marriages is hinted at in 1 Peter 3:7, where Peter refers to prayers being hindered.

Secondly, souls are in grave danger when marriage ends in divorce because, at best, only one of the spouses has the right to remarry.

Matthew 19:9 (NKJV)
⁹  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. 

According to this passage, only the one who puts away his spouse for fornication can remarry.  What happens to the spouse who is put away for fornication if he or she remarries?  Jesus calls it adultery.  Obviously, when one enters an adulterous marriage, their soul is in danger of being lost.  The only solution is to repent and end the second marriage.

What about when a marriage is dissolved, and no fornication has been committed by either spouse?  First, it should go without saying that whoever initiated the divorce needs to repent and seek reconciliation.  But what if reconciliation is not possible because one of the spouses refuses it?  Then, according to Jesus, neither spouse can remarry without adultery occurring.  Thus, both spouses are now in the very vulnerable position of giving in to the lust of the flesh and committing fornication or remarrying another person and entering an unlawful marriage.

Further complicating matters is that many false doctrines are being taught that encourage remarriage by those who have no right to do so.  For example, some teach that a person who has been put away for fornication can remarry.  This position says that since the innocent party is no longer bound to the guilty party, the guilty party is no longer bound to the innocent party.  If the innocent party can remarry, so can the guilty.

The problem with that position is that it does not consider the fact that in a marriage, the husband and wife are not only bound to each other, they are bound to God’s marriage law (Romans 7:1-3).  As a married man, I am bound not only to Janice, my wife, but I am bound to God’s law, which says I cannot divorce my wife, except it be for fornication, and remarry without committing adultery.

If I become guilty of sexual immorality, my wife can put me away and be free from both the marriage to me and the bond of God’s marriage law, having, therefore, the freedom to remarry.  However, while I would be loosed from the marriage (that is, the physical relationship to her, along with the marital responsibilities that attend it), I would still be bound to the law that says I cannot remarry.  If I do, it is adultery.  Any doctrine that contradicts this puts souls at risk.  I encourage the reader to carefully read Matthew 19:9.

It is also taught by some that a person who is married and divorced before he/she becomes a Christian can remarry after conversion.   Those who teach this say that remarriage is possible because the person outside of Christ is not amenable to the law set forth by Jesus in Matthew 19:9.

This doctrine is wrong and will lead to adultery if remarriage occurs.  The alien sinner must answer to Matthew 19:9 just like the Christian.  Jesus was simply setting forth His general law on marriage in Matthew 19:9. It applies to all because Jesus is Lord of all (Acts 10:36).  Jesus is not just Lord over those in the church; He is Lord of all.  All power in heaven and on earth has been given to Him (Matthew 28:18).  So, the question is, if the one who has not obeyed the gospel is not under the law that Christ has set forth, in what sense is Jesus his Lord?  The doctrine that says that those outside of Christ are not accountable to the law of Christ greatly limits the Lordship of Jesus.

Another point that should be emphasized here is that if Matthew 19:9 is what has been called a “covenant passage,” and if non-Christians are not subject to the law of Christ, and therefore not amenable to the law set forth in Matthew 19:9, then it must be concluded that they are not subject to any part, piece or portion of the law of Christ.  One cannot choose what portion of the law of Christ non-Christians are under and what portions they are not.  Either they are amenable to all of it or none of it at all.  Yet, this poses a problem because the command to repent and be baptized is a part of the law of Christ.  If the non-Christian is not subject to the teachings of Christ on marriage, divorce, and remarriage, then he is not subject to the law that says one must repent and be baptized.

If one is unwilling to accept the consequences of his doctrine, he should give up the doctrine.  The bottom line is this: Jesus directed His law on marriage to everyone who would ever get married (Matthew 19:9).  Who does this law apply to?   Jesus said, “WHOSOEVER.”

When we cut through all the written and verbal rhetoric on this of divorce and remarriage, we come to this conclusion:  if you are in a second marriage and your previous spouse is still living, and fornication on the part of your spouse was not the cause of your first marriage being dissolved, you are living in an adulterous relationship and therefore in a state of sin.

Let us do our best to have the best marriages we can so that divorce never becomes a personal issue.  However, let us also stand for and practice the truth so that the terrible problem of a failed marriage does not turn into the even worse problem of an adulterous marriage.